Chapter 3: I Had A Dream
The day of the exam and the qualifying match continued to approach. The club's lively atmosphere was swallowed with anticipation and excitement at each step Gouenji-kun took to polish Fire Tornado, now in the last stage of putting movement, timing, and power together.
As for me, transferring to Mikage was not an option. I was decided on passing that test, studying in any free time I had. I used this opportunity to ask one of my trusted maids, Higashi-san, to help me.
"To be honest, I cannot see you as a student in Mikage Sennou. They are really smart, aren't they?" she said, sitting at the head of the coffee table in my personal living room as we chatted. It was the place I did the most work in, a vast space with positive ambiance and plenty of light.
I hummed lazily in agreement. "They are. Not only it's a blow on my pride, but I know I won't be able to make it in Mikage. They are purely focused on academics." I hugged myself and shivered. "They are nerds! There is no way I can get along with them! . . . I might be bullied," I said with mock fear.
Higashi-san giggled and nodded with a cheerful 'uhn uhn'. "Really, it's not a school you should be. You fit best in a school where you can be a social butterfly."
"Yes!" I exclaimed, tapping my fists on the table. "Exactly! It's weird!"
"And right now you look so happy," she said with a warm smile. "Happier since that day. I am glad."
My eyes widened. I glanced away and smiled demurely. "I believe I can do this, and Gouenji-kun helped me tie my strengths to memorizing and understanding the material." Algebraic formulas were like an orchestra; they had their own characteristics and harmony and had the objective to reach absolute silence or equilibrium, zero.
Two days before the qualifying match, the test was held. Eyes fixed on the paper, I didn't waste a second and moved from question to question, starting from the ones I was able to answer on the spot or noted the formulas I had to use if I recalled them.
An hour later, my head was hot and I tasted iron. Licking the side of my mouth, I realized I had bitten too hard and was bleeding.
"I was very into it," I deadpanned before leaning on the chair, letting my arms fall on my sides. Suddenly, I jumped from the seat as my muscles ached and wrapped my arms around my body, hissing in pain.
I waited until the pain became bearable, inhaling and exhaling deeply before making my way to the vending machine at the end of the hall to celebrate the end of a harsh battle. And while my stomach churned over the wait for the results, it grumbled as the stress ebbed away as well.
I noticed a familiar figure on the bench in front of the vending machine. My feet stopped for a moment, and I pulled my eyes away in hesitation. "It should be fine," I muttered to myself and continued in a whisper, "I doubt she remembers me." And resumed walking.
"Hello, Ryuugamine-san," I greeted the downcast girl holding a cafe au lait.
The girl lifted her head in surprise. Tightening the hold on the can, she greeted back quietly.
Self-conscious under her gaze, I struggled to make the can of juice fall from the vending machine, pressing buttons in a haste. I frowned at the thought that operating this machine seemed easier than it actually was. But finally, I managed after some trial and error.
Grabbing the drink after a dry clank, I turned around with a friendly smile. "Can I sit there?"
She nodded, scooting ever so slightly in invitation.
I sat down, careful to not make any sudden movements that exposed my apparent exhaustion. Taking a gulp that my stomach gratefully accepted, I stared with curiosity at Ryuugamine-san from the corner of my eye.
She stared at the floor, a frown lightly creasing her forehead. Her long hair and bangs seemed to lack care, yet fairly brushed. Her eyes were a deep navy blue like a wave that protects her soul. She was among the tallest girls in the class, her mature demeanor deceiving her thirteen years of age.
What could the smartest girl in our class be worried about, I vaguely thought, drowsiness hugging my body.
"Do you think you passed the test?" she asked.
I tilted my head to the side. "Ah, um, yes." I smiled.
"I heard what Sakaki-sensei said," she stated.
I inhaled sharply and blinked repeatedly. "Wh-where were you?"
"On the other side of the room. At the threshold." She looked at me from the corner of her eye, her expression stoic and unreadable.
I sighed dramatically. "Of course. The far side."
"I hope you pass. It seems important," she said before sipping her drink.
I nodded, taking a sip to play off the nervousness. My fingers kept trembling and my breathing quickened. All the worries I had pushed away came crashing as the topic caught me unguarded. The test, my future, the Sumire Foundation, the fact that I was useless, and many more.
"Do you still play the violin?" she asked, pulling me back or away from the abyss.
"Hu-huh?" I mumbled dumbly, covering a side of my mouth in a haste to lick away some residue.
She turned to me, her eyes suddenly shinier and hopeful as she repeated, "Do you still play the violin?"
"How do you know?" I breathed out, panic filling my veins. My worst fears played on my ears, complaints filling my hearing. I kept a strong hold of the can, suppressing my trembling fingers.
"You had a solo in the public auditorium a few years ago," she said.
"Oh," I deflated, raging fear ebbing away. I pulled a smile at the fond faraway memory. While I had long forgotten the song we played, in the small string ensemble of the music club I fought for the solo, practicing for days until my fingertips bled. "I remember. Children from schools in the area came. Was yours there?"
"Yeah," she said, "it was beautiful." She smiled fondly. "The violin is fun."
I curled my fist and leaned back, lips tightening. "I am glad you liked it and inspired you." I gazed at her unchanging expression. "I'm not playing anymore, but I haven't forgotten about it."
She nodded with a mix of understanding and determination. Ryuugamine-san was in the concert band club, and I couldn't help but ask to be invited to watch their performance in a competition if there was one.
When she nodded, blue eyes shining like a sapphire in her impassive expression, I regretted those words.
"I'm surprised," I commented after a while, leaning one stretched leg over the other. "I thought you didn't care about socializing with others." The conversations I had witnessed with teachers and our peers didn't stretch for long. She was mostly by herself, including lunch. As far as I had noticed, Ryuugamine-san didn't have close connections with many students in our class.
Her brows fell slightly, but this time, she stared up. "I'm not interested in fitting in or talking to our classmates," she replied without hesitation nor a hint of offense.
My eyes widened slightly, concluding she was like Yuuto, thus the same as Gouenji-kun: a reserved introvert, or an asocial person. It was outside of my understanding.
But, I had spoken too soon.
"I want to become a better musician. I don't want to waste my time with people who will hold me back or make fun of me." Her eyes were as firm as a mountain. Like the gaze I had lost.
"You understand, don't you?" she asked with a hopeful tone, crashing me back to the cruel reality.
My breath got caught in my throat and I bit my lip, wincing at the pain from the previous injury. "Yes, of course I understand," I lied. An unpleasant feeling settled on my stomach. My mind screamed to run away and be spared from the pain of listening to a girl who was able to walk without falling down, but my body was glued to the bench. I left behind that dream to be the heir of the Sumire Foundation, the only dream I ever dared to have.
My body moved on its own when she stood up, asking for her contact information which she was more than happy to give.
"Why. . ." I asked, lips tightening, "Why don't care about what others think? You are the smartest in the whole grade, there must be things people expect you to to be or do."
Her answer left me out of words and threw my world on its head.
She gazed into my eyes for a while, the pressure testing me.
"I don't care what others expect from me. In the end, the only expectations I have to answer are my own."
⚽️️🌸⚽️
Nervousness and panic rose among the soccer club members, the day of the qualifying match a day away. As I observed their passes and teamwork, I was hesitant to confidently answer to Coach Nikaidou that the team would be able to win. My personal worries were elsewhere, not including the test and its consequences. Ryuugamine-san's words seeped in my mind more frequently than I would admit.
"They don't matter?" I said in a low voice, "if it was that easy I would--" Such were the things I found myself muttering, at times a little too loud.
The test was given back that day. Munching my lip with an anxious stomach, I waited for my name to be called. The chair rattled as I pushed it away, and zoomed to the teacher's desk faster than ever before.
A loud "YES!" boomed across the first classrooms.
I Had A Dream | End