Chapter 34: False Happiness
"Oh my gosh, he's licking my finger, Ryuugamine-kun. He's so cute! Kya!" Miki was smiling, gazing down the cat. "He's so friendly~. How did you meet him?"
"A few years ago." He smiled, following the black cat striding to him and bumping against his hand. He gathered the cat up and placed it in front of Miki, careful to not touch her dress.
"He's really cute," she said while doting on him. "Have you given him a name?"
Kiyoshi's eyes widened. "Not yet. I can choose whenever I want." He presented the official card with the adoption ID.
"Oh, I can't wait!" Miki's glowing smile improved his day. He deeply appreciated people who made him feel better. He never knew when something would happen and ruin his day. After placing the attentive cat back to its previous spot, he stood up.
"Ryuugamine-ku--"
"Yoshi, hey." There it was. Crap. "I hope I'm not interrupting," Miki reassured the approaching brunette and they introduced each other. Kiyoshi smiled tightly. Before his worries crushed him, he had excused himself to the bathroom.
Shit, shit, what am I going to do? He gazed at his wild eyes reflected in the mirror. He shouldn't have told him he was going to be here. That was careless from his part. Now he had to deal with this. His wrist was itchy. He scratched it with the sleeve of the same arm. The acute pain and relief were pleasantly exciting.
"Kiyoshi, oh--"
Great. "What?" He answered without turning. The immediate silence that followed killed him slowly.
"I thought everything went well. You stopped being a spy and met your family. Why. . ."
"It's just a scratch."
"It's never just a scratch, Kiyoshi!" He flinched. "Please, let me help."
No, this was his personal problem. Talking to Keima about the awful events that were taking place in Kidokawa was the most destructive thing he could do. "It's nothing that concerns you."
"You still won't let me help?" Keima's sorrowful voice made his heart wrench. "Tell me, have you been holding everything in all this time?"
Kiyoshi shook his head. "I have people to talk to," he replied vaguely.
From a swift glance to the mirror, he saw Keima's twisted expression. His hands were clenched. "I did interrupt. Sorry." He heard steps going away.
"I'm sure he worries about you as much as I do," Miki said when he returned. Keima had left the park. She pulled Kiyoshi closer, letting his head fall on her shoulder.
"Do you think it's my fault?"
"Don't make yourself feel worse than you already do."
"I think it is," he said in a low voice. "They were talking about how to help Gouenji-kun. Sumire had to protect him. That's why she was with his sister. That's why she was in that accident." He hugged Miki. "I knew what they were planning and said nothing. I did nothing. I was too late. Sumire had good intentions from the beginning. She wanted to help the team. But I got in her way with my selfishness. And then I hurt her. I never apologized for ruthlessly exposing her. Now this."
"I'm the worst," Kiyoshi said. His meeting with Kidou-san was still green in his mind. After finding out about the accident, he texted the underclassman and went to the hospital. The boy's state was one he had never imagined. Crestfallen, the husk of a proud boy. All he was told was she had gotten into an accident on her way to the tournament, but Kiyoshi knew better. Gouenji-kun didn't arrive at the stadium on time either. Sumire was with Gouenji's little sister to secure her. Kiyoshi wondered if the Coach's threat was a subtle warning or a hint. Or if he got the idea from their final talk.
But he couldn't yield this knowledge with Kidou-san. He promised Sumire the day he told her he backed down. "Swear it on your life. If he finds out, you are as good as dead." He understood why she had been so aggressive about it. Kiyoshi could spot a person that was on the verge of falling apart.
Seeing the girl that had brought him so much terror on a white bed connected to a thick bunch of life support cables was an ugly sight. She was small compared to everything else. She looked helpless. She didn't scare him, and that felt wrong.
Because she was stronger than this.
"The doctors don't know how she's alive," Kidou-san abruptly announced. "She has a blood condition, did you know? It's defective. Her body has always been weak. She lost a lot of blood her body can't regenerate if she were normal." And yet she was running around all the time, doing this and that.
She didn't deserve this. It should have been me.
"Why did this happen?" Those words sent a chilling warning down Kiyoshi's spine. Sumire's words promptly rang in his head as if in answer. Kidou-san deserves to know. "You are as good as dead." It was the Coach that put her in this state. "You can't tell him." Why was this information so important? "I'm insisting because I was told you are an idiot. You can't tell Kidou-kun."
WHY DID HE HAVE TO SEE KIDOU-SAN CRYING AND HOLD BACK THE TRUTH FROM HIM?!
Why am I the one alive?
Because you chose to run away.
"Sorry." Kiyoshi steadied the boy, still wearing Teikoku's uniform. He was about to release his shoulder when a hand grazed it. It was Kidou-san's. "I apologize for what I did to you."
"What?"
"I used you. It brought nothing good."
"It's not your fault, Kidou-san. I wrote that article--" He sucked in a breath, the boy's hold tightening. His heart thumped faster. "I . . . "
"You like me, don't you?" Sumire was right there. It wasn't appropriate to do this.
"I found someone," he whispered. Kidou-san released his hand and apologized, rushing to say forget it.
I'm sure he is lonely.
As they shared quiet afternoons in the hospital room, the boy recounted his relationship with Sumire. She was like a mother to him. She had steered him along the ocean of implicit communication and bestowed the image of true strength. The tone was so fond he understood: Kidou-san cherished her.
At school, Gouenji-kun refused to acknowledge his existence. It was general knowledge the first-year had quit the soccer team. Kiyoshi wanted to share his condolences with the situation of his little sister. If she were Miyu-chan, he would be fucking devastated.
By now, the fact that Kiyoshi was a spy was widespread. The Coach's words had become a reality. There was no news when he was coming back to Teikoku. The Mukata triplets had clearly explained his disdain for him to his face. And while he was surprised they had the guts or lack of self-awareness to confront him, the timing was the worst. The classroom was particularly thick that day.
"We knew there was something fishy with Sumire from the beginning, like yeah. So it's true that chicken asked you to join the team? Another wimp would have been in the way." The three guffawed.
Kiyoshi glowered, stepping aside and stomping away. They had become particularly nasty toward Gouenji. As prophesied, the first-year didn't play in the national finals. The Coach wanted it so.
"We welcomed you! Is that how you repay us?" One of the triplets yelled after him. Who blew them? Their ego was over the roofs.
"Are you sure you don't want me to help you?" Miki asked while dusting off Kiyoshi's cheek. It was just a fall during PE, but Miki was taking care of him all the same. She clicked her tongue as if remembering something bitter. "The idiots in my group are also bad-mouthing you. I should--!"
"No, you have to stay at this school. I will leave soon." He complimented the cute design on the napkin, making her blush.
Miki's face fell. "Let's do something fun this weekend, huh?"
Kiyoshi smiled. "You are too kind."
Miki shook her head sadly. "I can't stand up for you. Say, maybe you want to. . . come to my house? I had a great time at the park." He couldn't say no to that smile, not that he wanted to.
False Happiness | End