Chapter 9: A Dog's Loyalty
Kiyoshi plopped on his bed as soon as he got home, burying his face in the pillow. His body felt heavy, and a dense cloud rested on him. Tightening his jaw from the hammering headache he was suffering, he clutched his head, hot tears spilling as quiet sobs left his lips.
"I'm an idiot. I'm a fucking idiot," he said between sharp sobs.
He had become someone's tool again.
He shouldn't have believed the Coach. Kiyoshi readily accepted everything would be prepared for him and that being his tool was a vital step to get into Teikoku's team. That was okay because he was nothing without soccer. He needed the extra help.
But being Kensou's tool was different. Kiyoshi could already see it: Absolute obedience, worthless opinions, insults, submission. It was rinse and repeat. He couldn't get away from this fate.
He should give up already. He couldn't stand the cycle. He just wanted to play soccer. Why was it so hard?
No, he already knew the answer. He deserved this. After all he had done... it was his punishment.
It was his fault. Yes, everything was his fault.
.....
"So," his friend said, sitting on top of the slide. "The girl whom you were supposed to take the job from found you."
"Y-Yeah," Kiyoshi grumbled, "Basically that."
The boy muffled a laugh, looking away with a stiff expression and a faint curving in his lips as if he was holding in a yawn.
"D-Don't laugh, Keima!" Kiyoshi glowered, cheeks painted with a growing blush, "She jumped at me from behind while I was focused on watching their practice!"
And on top of it, she had to be a girl. Even if she was rich, it was embarrassing how he was paralyzed with terror.
"Sorry, sorry." Keima waved a hand, then zoomed down the slide.
Kiyoshi jumped, backing away as Keima slid to him at high speed and stood up. "At least it was that girl, Sumire Yuu, right? If someone else had found you, it would have been harder to make up an excuse," Keima said, dusting off his pants.
Kiyoshi shrugged and walked to the bench, crouching beside a calico cat nibbling on a treat. "Have you heard of that hissatsu?" he said while petting the cat's head.
"Tornado Legend?" Keima asked, "Not at all. I'll ask around though. Triple hissatsus are rare."
Kiyoshi snapped his head back to Keima, steadying his posture. "No! If people suddenly start talking about it, the Coach will know it was me," he warned. He wouldn't forgive himself if Keima got hurt because of him. Being around him was dangerous enough, but he couldn't push Keima away again.
"Okay." Keima nodded seriously. "I'll search on my own."
Kiyoshi stood up in a haste. "Keima, no!" he yelled. "This was the mission I was given. I can't let you do my job."
"Then how can I help?" Keima protested, brows furrowing. "There must be something."
Kiyoshi thought for a moment. "You are fine this way," he said quietly, gazing at the ground.
"Kiyoshi, I want to help you." Kiyoshi looked at his friend between the top of his glasses and cap as Keima clenched his fists. It wasn't like him to sound that desperate. A vague nostalgia lifted his guard, unconsciously narrowing his eyes. It had been just a year, but it seems to be enough for Kiyoshi to forget some of Keima's mannerisms, save from his soccer style.
"Kei," Kiyoshi said softly, "you are doing enough." He cracked a small smile to reassure him, confirming his feeling of gratefulness beforehand. "I'm glad you are worried about me. Really."
Honestly, one person who worried about his well-being meant the world. If he were truly alone, he would give up on the mission after the first day at Kidokawa. Kiyoshi needed a friend to lean on and talk to, and having Keima around made him happy. Happier than he had been for the past year.
Nevertheless, Kiyoshi was satisfied his current pure self: he didn't lie to himself, didn't force himself to do things he didn't want to, didn't plaster fake smiles to get along with his classmates. And Keima accepted his perspective, his desire to stay pure until the end.
Keima's shoulders relaxed, also bringing a sense of relief on Kiyoshi. His body recognized the anxiety the situation brought, but his mind hadn't caught up yet.
What was putting Keima on edge? He should know. But he couldn't put it into words.
". . . Ok." Keima's jade green eyes flickered with sadness, their usual luster returning a moment later. "Tell me when you need help, okay?" He smiled.
"Thank you, really," Kiyoshi replied with a small, sincere smile. Keima was keeping his promise. Kiyoshi appreciated the space his friend was giving him to work at his own pace.
". . . There is something else." Kiyoshi continued after refilling the plate for the other cat. He gave Keima a look, hoping his body language and tone conveyed it was bad news.
He spoke after receiving Keima's concerned reply. Kiyoshi told him about Kensou, the fact that he had joined the student council as his assistant, and that Kensou wanted to use him. When Kiyoshi asked Kidou-san if he knew about the guy's whereabouts, he answered they were unknown after confirming with the Coach. So Kensou was acting alone, and they didn't know he was attending Kidokawa.
Kiyoshi sat on the bench and pulled his knees up, burying his face in his legs. His luck was terrible.
"I don't want to be used anymore," he said wistfully.
He had enough as a replacement for Keima back then, his hysterical mother, and now he was trapped in the eagle's nest.
"Kiyoshi. . ." Keima trailed off, "You want to be a pro, don't you?! This is nothing. You passed Teikoku's entrance exam for that, right? You studied like crazy to get a scholarship. Is this really harder than everything you have already gone through?"
Keima's last words made Kiyoshi tremble.
Kiyoshi lifted his face, chin downwards. "N-No matter h-how hard I try, I always end up being used. It has nothing to do with Teikoku or the mission. . . It's like a cycle I c-can't run away from." Kiyoshi's voice lowered to a whisper as if admitting defeat. "First the Coach and now Kensou."
"So what?" Keima declared. "Is that really more important than your dream? You can't let this bring you down."
Kiyoshi felt as if a bomb exploded in his stomach. He pushed himself off the bench, eyes blazing and clenched fists ready to punch. "Mother was happy I quit soccer so I could focus on my studies! You know how painful her criticism is! You have seen it before! I don't want to be used because I don't be a tool! I hate it!" Kiyoshi shouted, coughing immediately after. This stupid idiot's habit of ignoring things never failed to piss him off.
"You are right. I know all that. I'm sorry," Keima's voice quivered apologetically.
Kiyoshi heard meowing in the distance, followed by a soft brush against his thigh.
The calico cat gazed at him with worried, yellow eyes. Then the black cat with white mittens he was waiting for appeared beside it, brushing its furry head against his leg.
". . . I don't know what's going on with me," Keima said in a small voice.
Kiyoshi frowned. "I hate to be used by selfish people who only think of themselves." His voice was firm and spiteful.
". . . I'm so sorry," Keima trembled. "You know at that time I wasn't. . ."
Kiyoshi sat back, ignoring Keima's words.
The calico jumped on his thighs, propping its legs on Kiyoshi's chest to lick his nose; its soothing purr was comforting. The black cat nudged its head against his arm, taking his sleeve after meowing in a gesture to play.
Kiyoshi chuckled softly. Those two never failed to cheer him up. They were special to him. Just like this abandoned park. It was his secret place. He rarely bumped into other people.
"Have you thought of what I could do for you? I would really do anything," Keima said cautiously.
Kiyoshi lifted his eyes, having Keima on the corner of his sight. ". . . I haven't decided. Sorry."
Keima waved his hand breezily. "It's fine. Tell me when you know."
Kiyoshi exhaled slowly, his mind cooling down in the process. It wasn't Keima's intention to sound apathetic. Just like most of the time he sounded rude, sometimes Keima sounded indifferent. This time it just really got under his skin.
He lifted his head. "I want to fulfill our promise to fix our relationship."
Keima smiled lightly. "Me too."
That's when it finally clicked.
The month before summer vacation Keima becomes irritable, emotional, and a mess. Even if Kiyoshi was Kin's replacement, that didn't help Keima at all. It had been his duty since Keima confessed his problem. He just didn't imagine it would fall in this exact month.
Kiyoshi hesitated, slightly embarrassed at the words that were floating in his mind. He should say it for the sake of their friendship, Keima's loyalty, and himself. "H-hey, Ke-Kei. . . . L-let me protect you. As thanks for w-what you have d-done for me."
Keima blushed, retreating a few steps until he bumped against the slide. "Wa-Wait?! I already owe you. I can't let you do that!"
Kiyoshi chuckled, a warm flutter expanded in his body, and walked to him. He gave Keima a sweet smile, a gesture he proudly showed off to the ones he held dear enhanced by his looks. "I remembered. It's that month, isn't it? You can use my shoulder."
Keima shook his head furiously. "You are already going through so much! I can't let you bear this too!"
Kiyoshi cocked his head, giving off a mischievous smile. "Kei, you know I wouldn't be saying this if I wasn't sure could handle it."
Keima raised a skeptic eyebrow. "Are you really sure?" Kiyoshi could tell his friend was trying to accept help and was confirming if Kiyoshi could truly do so.
"Yup!" he answered cheerily without hesitation.
"Okay. . ." Keima looked between Kiyoshi and a random point. "Just for this month."
A Dog's Loyalty | End